Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Oh god it's open bar.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
