i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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