mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Life is so much better after having sex.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
