But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
