Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
