these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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