giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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