you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
