Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
