Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
