Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He did a backflip because drugs
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
