so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
