No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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