If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Pants are for mortals
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
