So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
