This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I checked into jail on foursquare
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
