Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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