Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
