u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
