Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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