So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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