There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
