We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
