There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
