I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
