i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
