mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
