What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
PANTIES FOUND
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