Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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