Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
