You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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