He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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