It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
