Heybabeimwearingurpanties
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
