Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Sober January is a disaster.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
