Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
