he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
