You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
