You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
