I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
