i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
