But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize