I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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