Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
