You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
