I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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