Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
