Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
