my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
