If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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