Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
