just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
