True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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