his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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