Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
