my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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