Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
